If you’ve stumbled upon this post, chances are, you’re desperate for a good night's sleep and may feel ready to hire a sleep coach and get a solid plan in place. But what if dad doesn't feel that a sleep coach is necessary? This is actually a fairly common roadblock and something I hear about often when mom's reach out to me for help.
I’m here to share some tips on how to get dad on the same page so that you and your partner can finally sleep through the night. Additionally one of my previous clients, Matt Abrams, will also explain how hiring me as their sleep coach has helped their family get more sleep and be more proactive with good sleep habits, rather than reactive out of desperation for sleep.
Here’s Why Dad May Not be on Board
First, let’s take a closer look at why dad may not be on board in the first place. For one, it may be as simple as dad not understanding the full extent of the sleep deprivation going on for mom.
Let’s say mom is nursing in the middle of the night (something dad can’t help with), or doing all of the bottle feedings each time baby wakes up. With both of these situations, dad may not be waking up each time baby is and not fully aware of how much sleep mom is really losing.
Another common roadblock is dad not having all the information when it comes to sleep training. Often-times, a sleep deprived mama has found a sleep coach she feels that she could trust and has done all the research to come to her decision on who to work with. On the other hand, dad may not have done the research and is not ready to make that commitment or investment.
My client, Matt Abrams, finally turned to hiring me when he and his wife tried to get proper sleep in place, but realized that they needed more sleep education and a simple plan. "After too many communication breakdowns and fights, we decided to get some help," stated Abrams. "It was very clear we couldn’t do it alone and needed a 3rd party to help guide us down a consistent and measurable sleep path."
One of the major advantages of hiring a sleep coach is receiving a step-by-step plan which is customized for your family and baby. Of course, Google is a great resource, so are blogs and books too, but when you work with a "REAL" person they get to know your family and can help solve your little one's sleep issues in an organized fashion. Every baby (and situation) is unique and what may work for one family, may not work for another.
According to Abrams, "Changes were night and day. We chose a plan, discussed the process and stuck to it with lots of help from Desiree. More than anything, working with a consultant like Desiree paints a really clear picture of what needs to be done and how to do it."
How do I get my husband / partner to see the value? So how can you get your partner / husband to see the value of hiring sleep consultant? Here are some tips that I share with Mom's that come to me for help and need to sell Dad on getting help.
#1 Share What You’ve Found
The first tip to getting dad on board involves sharing all the research you’ve found. Sit down and discuss the program or the consultant you found, why you think it’s worth investing in, and even share client testimonials or social media posts that really resonated with you. Getting dad familiar with the person you want to be working with is a huge step in getting him on board.
#2 Let Him Know You’re Struggling
It’s also important to really make it clear how much a lack of sleep is impacting your life. Not all dads realize the toll it takes on mamas who may have to wake up and go to work the next day or the stay at home mamas who have kids to keep up with all day.
Let dad know that you’re struggling and share what you’ve tried yourself that hasn’t worked and why it’s time to get a professional involved.
#3 Fill Him in on What Sleep Training Really is
Some dads don’t think their baby needs sleep training, or they don’t believe in it at all. Mama, now's the time to let him know what it is and that with the right sleep consultant, it’s about teaching mom and dad tools on how to implement healthy sleep habits — it’s definitely not about letting your precious little one just cry it out!
Working with the right sleep coach will teach parents valuable, healthy sleep habits that your baby/child(ren) can use for years to come.
#4 Talk About The Money
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room — many dads (and moms) struggle with the idea of hiring a sleep coach, thinking that it’s a luxury expense. But here’s the thing — many families spend hundreds, some even thousands on books, special “sleep promising swaddles”, and tools that promise results but offer nothing in return.
Investing in sleep training now may not only save your sanity but making the investment means that you’ll actually have a professional working by your side, creating a custom plan tailored to your baby. This means results, not just crossing your fingers and hoping that some generic book will work for you.
Finally...Sleep is Not a Luxury, it’s Essential!
It’s easy to think that we can just get used to the sleep deprivation after endless nights of trying to get our babies to sleep. But, it’s not something that should just become our new normal. With the right tools and by working side by side with a professional sleep coach, not only will you, as the parent benefit, the whole family will.
"I’d say invest in a good sleep consultant like Desiree," stated Abrams. "Really, it was a great decision that helped our family overcome some serious sleep deprivation. When our second one comes around, you better believe we are giving Desiree a call immediately!"
Everyone needs sleep, including your baby. So, if you’re ready to make the investment in better sleep habits starting today, but dad is hesitant, it’s time to get him on board!
Interested in working with me? Email me to schedule a FREE 30 minute discovery call!